Bridget's Blunder. A story for all of us knitters.

This post comes via Susan's blog, Just Call me Ruby. She shared this poem which she found at the back of a 1940s pattern booklet, promoting the famous 'Patonised' wool of the time. It contains some good advice!

Bridget's Blunder

My story tells of Bridget Whitting

Who loved both plain and fancy knitting,

But though she worked by day and night

Her efforts seldom turned out right.

Friends would say, "Cor! That jumper's posh!"

But when she'd given it a wash,

Instead of snugly fitting Bridget

It seemed more suited to a midget.

One day, when off to see her draper

She saw announced inside her paper

A brand-new wool; was she elated!

For bold as brass the maker stated:-

"This wool's the best that can be got,

It will not shrink, no matter what!"

So Bridget told her woolshop flat,

"I'll have a basinful of that."

And hurried home with glowing cheeks,

But couponless for weeks and weeks.

Soon willing Labour bore its fruit -

A salmon-pinky jumpersuit,

Which Bridget wore with pride o'er-weening

Till, solied and creased, it needed cleaning.

Said B., "It won't take half a wink,

the makers say it cannot shrink."

(But they forgot to say - the wretches! -

That wool made shrinkless sometimes stretches).

'Twas washed; the outcome nearly killed her,

It went three times round Aunt Matilda!

And looked in shade like Aunt Euphemia

Who suffers from acute anaemia.

"That's finished it," wept B., "I'm quitting,

I'm through for good and all with knitting;

I'll write at once to my MP,

about this dire clamity."

Her tale was penned 'midst groans and hisses,

- The MP showed it to his Mrs.

Who said, "That girl should be advised

to stick to wool that's Patonised,

Which, used with reasonable care

Will wash and wash, and wear and wear;

Trust P&B, the leading spinners

Only to turn out certain winners.

Just tell her she's a chump to quit

When there's such lovely wool to knit."

B. took the tip, no longer weeps;

that MP's in his seat for keeps!

Happy knitting,
Ingrid, Susan and Bridget x